It is almost two years to the day since I made the hardest decision of my life and separated from Oli’s father. Just after the separation I nursed my Nan in her final days until she eventually lost her fight with cancer and last July I was involved in a dispute at my workplace that gave me such anxiety that I was taken by ambulance to hospital after collapsing in the staff room.
Needless to say, the last two years have been hard. It has been a period of grieving, adjusting, healing and it has taken a damn lot of work to get to where I am now. I was very confused and angry at myself and at the circumstances I had no control over. I lacked direction and at times had a very hard time remaining positive and ‘together’, many times I just couldn’t. My best friend was so patient with me even though, as she later revealed, she thought she had lost the old me. Gosh she must have grown tired of hearing my mindless rants all the time but she stuck by me and was key to my recovery.
I met Seb in February 2012 and the lights came back on. He didn’t know what I was sorting through or what had happened before we met. He was this gorgeous, handsome, interesting man and he was into me, from the very start. We have been together since the day we met, at a Steam Rally, no less. He has brought me back to where I see hope, direction and given me the confidence to again be ambitious and dream big. He would say that he has no idea how he did it, or even that he was doing anything at all, but that’s just the thing, isn’t it? When you meet the right person, magic just happens.
Over the last five months I have really made some huge steps to living a life I can be proud of. I managed to get an amazing job that serves my local community and that I love and I have resumed my studies and am working hard at my Bachelor of Education (Primary). I have things under control now. I have direction, I am enjoying my new ‘simple’ life and most importantly I am happy and proud of myself again.
What I want to do now is something totally selfish because I have head space for it as well as (maybe) the time. I’m launching ‘Operation Best Me’. This is just a silly way of saying that I’d like to have more energy to fit in all the things I need to do as well as maybe look a little bit foxy come summer. I’m taking a different approach to it than I have in the past, though. I’m not going to use the scales to measure my success and I’m not going to join a gym.
I’m going to use all the lessons learned through simple living to get me to a place of health and complete contentment with my body. I am going to employ techniques such as discipline and self motivation and I’m going to use this space to stay accountable. I will give a brief update and some tips, if I have them, every Monday. Maybe some of you have some little improvements you’d like to make? I’d like to stress that this is a long term and lifestyle choice I’m making, not a diet.
I need to be a healthy, fit and energised lady to have any hope in hell of keeping up with all the things I’d love to achieve. I’ll share recipes as I go and hopefully you will see little improvement over time. I don’t want to use numbers as an indicator of my success as I feel like I may set myself up for failure if I base this achievement on something as silly as a number of kilos. It’s bigger than that and deserves more credit than a number.
When I listen to my body, make healthy choices, spend a lot of time outdoors and have energy for study I am a very happy lady. I’ve decided to make that the norm, rather than just a ‘sometimes’ situation. I am investigating local bushwalking trails (apparently there are a few, ya know, in the Blue Mountains! haha) I have also reclaimed a bike from the side of the road that will be fixed up in no time and I’ll be rolling all over the place.
This is my ‘Go you!’ gift because I’m proud of where I am in life and I’d like that to be reflected in my health and appearance.
Please let me know if you want to join in as there is always strength in (people) numbers. 😉
Peace and wheatgrass (hehe)