compare // not to compare

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Are you ever guilty of comparing yourself to those around you? I look for the enviable one’s age, that way I can directly relate it to what I have/haven’t achieved and make a fair and reasonable comparison. What a crock of shit.

Her bum is nicer than mine. She has three beautiful kids and she’s my age. She can afford silly looking shoes. She has two degrees. She has slightly longer hair than I do. She has a completely different and incomparable lifestyle but I’ll find a way to compare it to mine anyway. You get the point.

Thankfully I don’t do this too often but I needed a little reality check this evening when I got stuck in a ‘google search spiral’. It started off with Adele’s Grammy outfit and somehow I ended up wondering how come I wasn’t married to a cricket player. Go figure.

After tearing myself away from the destructive images I had a little look through my phone  to see the pictures of OB, the most gorgeous boy I could ever imagine being my son. I don’t know why that comparison rears it’s ugly head, especially when I have so much to be grateful for and in my own world, have achieved quite a lot.

I think sometimes I belittle my role as mother and play down just how much time and emotional energy it takes to be a good parent. I haven’t finished uni yet or travelled the world and for so long they were my goals, my only to-do’s, that I think I have trained myself to put them as the ‘should have’ items for someone my age. Instead, I just turned 26 and my beautiful boy is about to turn four, I live in a gorgeous little house with the man I love and who loves me and I am studying for my dream job as a teacher. Things are good, really good and I’m the fool if I think that being skinnier or having more money would make me happier because this is my journey and it’s a bloody good one so far.

Of course I aspire to be a better and healthier version of me, because, sometimes, that’s what I need to do, but I should never aspire to be someone else. I will never settle for anything but the best version of me. This is my focus for the next little while. Join me, won’t you? 

Peace and appreciation.

E.x

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3 thoughts on “compare // not to compare

  1. Here’s some conparisons for you to consider next time…

    You have confidence and joy that buzzes electric about you and attracts people like a magnet

    You strive to make good choices and live ethically and conscientiously

    You’ve got slammin’ style

    You are a loving and involved parent

    YOU MADE A PERSON AND HE IS AWESOME

    you have the conviction to follow your dreams, even (especially) when you realise they’re different from the path you’re on

    I reckon you measure up pretty well, gherkin xxxx

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